Episode 26 - Change Is Hard - Understanding Anticipatory Grief

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Today, I want to talk about something tender, something many of us experience—but don’t always have words for.

It’s the feeling that shows up when your child is about to start kindergarten…
When you’re sitting at their last high school event…
When you’re packing up your home, getting ready to step into something new.

But it’s not just tied to big milestones like those.

It also shows up in quieter, more personal ways…
As we begin to notice we’re getting older.
As our roles shift.
As our children need us differently.
As our energy, our routines, or even our identity begins to change.

There’s excitement. There’s pride. There’s even hope.

But underneath it all… there’s an ache.

A quiet grief.

And what you’re feeling has a name.

It’s called anticipatory grief.

Anticipatory grief is the kind of grief that comes before a change fully happens.

It’s the heart recognizing—sometimes before our mind catches up—that something meaningful is coming to an end.

And here’s what’s important to understand:

This grief doesn’t mean something is wrong.
It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.
It doesn’t mean you’re not excited.

It simply means… this mattered to you.

Because even the most beautiful changes in life ask something of us.

They ask us to let go.

Let go of routines.
Let go of roles.
Let go of moments that once felt ordinary—but now feel incredibly sacred.

And as we age, this becomes even more tender…

We begin to feel the passing of time a little more clearly.
We notice seasons closing that we can’t go back to.
We recognize that life is moving forward—whether we’re ready or not.

And with that awareness can come a quiet grief…
Not because life is losing meaning,
but because we’re becoming more aware of just how meaningful it all is.

What’s Happening Emotionally:

In these moments, your heart is holding two things at once:

Joy for what’s ahead…
And sorrow for what’s ending.

You might feel:
A little more emotional than usual
A quiet heaviness you can’t quite explain
Moments where you just want time to slow down

Or even a deeper awareness of time passing…
wanting to hold onto moments just a little longer.

And often, we push these feelings away.

We tell ourselves, “I should just be happy.”
“This is a good thing.”
“Why am I feeling sad?”

But what if instead of pushing it away…
you simply acknowledged it?

Gentle Shift:

What if you allowed yourself to say:

“This is beautiful… and it’s also hard.”
“I’m grateful… and I’m going to miss this.”

Because both can exist at the same time.

And when you give yourself permission to feel both, something begins to soften inside of you.

Your Creative Practice (Journaling + Collage):

This is where I want to invite you into something gentle… something creative… something that helps you process what your heart is holding.

Because when we don’t give our emotions a place to go, they tend to stay stuck inside us.

So instead, we give them a place to land.

Step 1: Journaling – Naming What You’re Carrying

Take a few quiet moments and write.

You might ask yourself:
What am I going to miss about this season?
What did this time in my life give me?
What feels hard to let go of?

You might even gently explore:
What feels like it’s changing in me right now?
What part of my life or identity is shifting?

Let your words be honest.
Not polished. Not perfect. Just real.

Step 2: Collage – Holding the Season Visually

Then, begin to create.

Gather images, colors, textures, or words that represent this season of your life.

Maybe it’s soft colors that remind you of home.
Maybe it’s images that reflect growth, change, or memories.
Maybe it’s symbols of who you’ve been… and who you’re becoming.

Let your collage hold both:
What has been…
And what is coming.

Because sometimes, your hands can express what words cannot.

Collage becomes a way of saying:

“This mattered.”
“This was real.”
“And I honor it.”

Here’s something I want to leave you with:

Grief in these moments is not something to fear.

It’s actually evidence of a life that has been deeply lived.

You don’t grieve what didn’t matter.
You grieve what you loved.
What shaped you.
What became part of your story.

And as we grow older, this awareness doesn’t have to make us feel afraid…
it can actually deepen our gratitude, our presence, and our connection to what matters most.

And when you take the time to honor that…
you don’t carry the weight of change in the same way.

You carry it with peace.

So if you find yourself in a season of change right now…
feeling both joy and a quiet ache…

Whether it’s a life transition,
or simply the awareness that time is moving forward…

Know this:

You’re not alone.
There’s nothing wrong with you.

You’re simply standing in a meaningful moment—
right between what was…
and what’s becoming.

And that space deserves to be honored.