Worry-Learning to Release Control and Choose Trust

The Emotion of Worry — Learning to Release Control and Choose Trust


Welcome to Real Positive Change. I’m Cathy, and today we’re talking about something most of us know far too well — worry.

Maybe it’s worrying about your children, your health, your finances, or whether you’re doing enough as a mom, spouse, or friend. Worry feels like caring — and it is — but left unchecked, it quietly drains your energy, clouds your judgment, and prevents you from showing up fully.


In this episode, we’ll explore:
Why worry becomes such a natural default.
What happens in the brain when we worry.
How to coach ourselves and use journaling to redirect worry.
The surprising connection between worry and energy — including the Power vs. Force map.
How to release worry in conversation without being toxic.
By the end, you’ll see worry in a new light and have practical ways to shift from fear-driven action to trust-driven action.


“Hello, and welcome! Today, we’re diving into one of the most common human experiences: worry. Whether you’re thinking about your family, your work, or just life in general, worry can sneak in and drain your energy. For those of you who are mothers…From the moment you know you’re carrying a child, worry often comes with the package. It’s the unknown, the responsibility, the desire to keep someone safe and happy. It feels like love.

But here’s the catch: worry isn’t actually productive. It’s a low-energy, murky state that slows thinking, drains creativity, and keeps us spinning in fear.
Example: You watch your teenager leave for their first solo activity. You might catch yourself thinking,
“What if they make a mistake?”
That worry triggers tension, adrenaline, and mental loops — and yet, it doesn’t actually protect them.
Worry is an attempt at control — a way the brain tries to create safety when it doesn’t have certainty.

Neuroscience shows that worry isn’t just emotional — it’s physical. It’s tied to the brain’s Default Mode Network, or DMN.
[Pause]
The DMN is the system that runs when our brain is “resting,” yet thinking about ourselves or the future. Worry, rumination, and mental rehearsal live here.
When the DMN stays active — which often happens because we’ve trained it to cycle through anxious thoughts all day — it interferes with sleep, slows emotional recovery, and keeps us stuck in fear.
Research shows:
Strong Default Mode Network connectivity before sleep predicts poorer sleep and lower rest efficiency (Li et al., 2023).
Mindfulness, reflective journaling, and cognitive reappraisal reduce DMN activity and improve emotional regulation (Farb et al., 2007; Brewer et al., 2011).
So worry isn’t “just overthinking.” It’s a state your brain has learned — and it can be retrained.


This is where coaching and journaling come in.
Using the S.T.E.A.R. model — Situation, Thought, Emotion, Action, Result — we can pause worry and redirect our brains:
Example:
Situation: My son is at school.
Thought: “I’m worried he’ll make a mistake.”
Emotion: Anxiety.
Action: I overthink or text him unnecessarily.
Result: I feel drained.
[Pause 1 sec]
Coaching step:
“It’s okay not to know. God is with him. I can replace worry with trust.”
That moment of awareness trains your brain to regulate, redirect, and release — essentially rehearsing calm before sleep.


Here’s something fascinating that ties both science and energy together.
Dr. David Hawkins, in his book Power vs. Force, mapped human emotions on a scale from zero to a thousand — showing how each feeling carries an energetic strength that influences our ability to think clearly and create solutions.
On his scale, the energy of FEAR sits at 100. Years ago, A colleague and I took this scale and added the other emotions that we typically deal with. Worry sits around 85, which is in the range of Fear.
When we’re in fear or worry, our energy contracts. Our mind goes into protection mode, and that means we can’t access the higher, creative parts of our brain.
It’s like trying to solve a problem while your house alarm is blaring — you can’t think clearly until the alarm turns off.
Hawkins discovered that at an energy level of 200 — the level of Courage — the entire system shifts.
Below 200, we’re reacting, resisting, or trying to control.
Above 200, we begin responding with curiosity, confidence, and faith.

That’s exactly what happens when we coach ourselves. We raise the energy from fear to courage.
We stop forcing solutions and start accessing power — the kind that comes from trust, peace, and clarity.
So if worry is your default, notice that it’s not just emotional — it’s energetic.
You’re operating from an energy that’s too low to see possibility.
The goal isn’t to eliminate worry completely. It’s to raise your energy just enough — through journaling, coaching, or even repeating a Creative Reminder — so that your brain opens up to see new solutions.
Because only from that level — from Courage and above — can your mind start to think in possibilities instead of problems.

At night, your brain needs cues to rest. Even after coaching yourself, it benefits from gentle signals:
Calm the Body:
4-7-8 breathing
Warm tea or magnesium drink
Dim lights, no screens
Quiet the Mind:
Reflective journaling of accomplishments and gratitude
Creative Reminder reflection (“I rest knowing all is working for good.”)
Prayer or meditation
Coach Your Thoughts:
Mini S.T.E.A.R. check to reframe lingering worry into trust
Ritual of Release:
Place hand over heart: “I release the day.”
Visualize handing worries to God.

Sometimes we need to “dump” mental clutter. But we can do it without making it heavy for someone else.
Healthy Guidelines:
Ask for permission: “Can I talk this out for a few minutes?”
Set boundaries: 5–10 minutes
Name the emotion: “I feel uneasy because I can’t control the outcome.”
End with grounding: “Thank you for listening — I’m releasing this now.”
Use a Creative Reminder to finish
For the listener:
Stay grounded
Listen without fixing
Reset with breath or prayer afterward
Good listening is a mirror, not a sponge.

Worry feels like action, but it’s really the mind trying to regain control.
Coaching yourself moves you from worry-driven action → wisdom-driven action.
Let me leave you with one of my Creative Reminders, 561. Worry is not my partner. I am awakening to the understanding that all choices have consequences. The freedom to choose is both a privilege and a responsibility — one I accept with God as my guide.  (A shorter version:  I release worry and embrace the freedom to choose wisely, with God as my guide.).
Use this Creative Reminder to Pause, reflect, and intentionally choose courage and trust.
Tonight, notice one worried thought. Ask:
“How can I raise my energy? How can I see the possibilities?”
A short Creative Reminder to think of right before bed:
“Peace is

Thank you for listening. Remember, your mind learns calm all day long — so give it the practice of peace, and your brain, body, and heart will follow.