Your Story, Your Emotions, Your Power to Change It

Listen to this weeks Podcast

Let Go of Bitterness: Be the Hero of Your Own Story

(How to Process, Release, and Rewrite What’s Been Holding You Back)

Have you ever noticed that when you stay angry for too long, it starts to change shape?
At first, anger burns hot — it’s fiery and sharp. But when it’s held onto, it cools, hardens, and becomes something heavier: bitterness.

And here’s the hard truth — when we hold onto bitterness, we often think we’re punishing the other person. But in reality, we’re punishing ourselves. Our mind keeps replaying the story, trying to make sense of it. Every replay keeps us stuck in the same pain, reliving it again and again.

Today, I want to talk about what’s really happening when that occurs — and how we can let it go through both emotional release and spiritual renewal.

🔥 How Anger Turns Into Bitterness

Anger itself isn’t wrong. In fact, it’s a signal — a message that something feels unjust, unfair, or painful.
In its healthy form, anger motivates us to act — to set a boundary, speak truth, or create change.

But when anger isn’t processed or released in a healthy way, it doesn’t just disappear. It settles in our body and mind, waiting to be resolved.
We start replaying the story: “They always do this.” or “It’s just not fair.”

The more we think those thoughts, the deeper the emotional roots grow. That’s when anger transforms into bitterness — a hardened, settled emotion that begins to color how we see everything.

🧠 What Happens in the Brain

Every time we replay the story, we strengthen the same neural pathways — the mental “roads” that carry those thoughts and emotions.
Think of it like walking the same trail over and over: it becomes well-worn and automatic.

So each time we revisit the hurt, our brain fires the same signals, and the emotion floods back just as strong as before.
This makes it harder for peaceful, hope-filled thoughts to take root because the brain naturally defaults to what it’s most practiced at — the old story.

But the good news is that our brains are changeable. When we start practicing peace — intentionally choosing new thoughts, releasing emotion, and reframing the story — we literally create new pathways for calm, faith, and healing to flow.

🎭 The Victim Loop and the Hero’s Journey

When we’re hurt, our brain wants to make sense of it, so it creates a story — and most of the time, we cast ourselves as the victim and the other person as the villain.

It’s completely normal — the brain does this to protect us. But here’s what happens: when we stay in that victim role, we give away our power. We end up waiting for someone else to make things right — to apologize, to change, or to rescue us.

But in every great story, there’s a moment when the victim decides to become the hero.
That’s the turning point — when we realize that no one else can rescue us.
When we choose to change the way we frame the story, we open the door to healing.

That’s when the Savior steps in.
Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we’re given power to move forward — to reframe the story with grace, and to find peace that doesn’t depend on anyone else’s actions.

🌿 Releasing Emotional Stress

Before we can rewrite our story, though, we have to release the emotion we’re carrying. Because when emotion stays trapped inside, it continues to shape how we think, act, and see the world.

That’s why even years later, when we remember something painful, it can feel just as intense as the day it happened.
Our body doesn’t know it’s a memory — it reacts as if it’s happening right now.

Here’s a simple exercise that helps the body and mind let go of emotional stress:

🌬 Emotional Stress Release Technique

1. Move your eyes gently from side to side 3 to 5 times.
2. Say to yourself, “Release _________” (name the emotion you’re feeling).
3. Squeeze your eyes shut tightly 3 times.
4. Take a deep breath, inhaling slowly and exhaling slowly. Do this 3 times.
5. Assess the level of your emotion on a scale of 1–10 (1 = calm, 10 = intense).
6. Ask: “Does it feel as strong as when I started?”
7. Continue the process until the emotion feels like a 1 or 2.

This helps your body process what your mind is holding onto — instead of pushing it down or letting it harden into bitterness.

✨ Reframing the Story with the STEAR Model

Once the emotion has been released, your mind is clear enough to think differently. That’s when the STEAR modelbecomes so powerful:

S — Situation: What actually happened (just the facts).
T — Thought: What you told yourself about it.
E — Emotion: What you felt because of that thought.
A — Action: How you reacted or responded.
R — Result: What outcome those thoughts and actions created.

Here’s an example:

• Situation: A friend didn’t invite me to an event.
• Thought: “She doesn’t value me.”
• Emotion: Hurt and anger.
• Action: I withdrew and replayed the story in my head.
• Result: I felt isolated — proving my painful thought true.

But when I release the emotion and reframe the thought, I might say:
“Maybe it wasn’t about me. I can still choose to value our friendship.”
That new thought produces a new emotion — peace — and leads to a different result.

This is how we step out of bitterness and back into freedom.

And remember — every time you choose the new thought instead of replaying the old one, you’re training your brain to build new, peaceful pathways.

💗 Stay in the Present

When we go back and relive past hurts, our body re-experiences them as if they’re happening now. That’s why staying present is so important.

Every time we notice ourselves replaying an old story, we can gently say:

“That’s the old story — but I’m living a new one now.”

We can’t change the past, but we can change what it means to us.
And every time we choose peace, we strengthen the part of us that is brave, whole, and free.

🕊 The Takeaway

You are not the victim of your story.
You are the hero — guided, strengthened, and supported by the One who knows how to redeem all things.

When you release the emotion and reframe the story, bitterness loses its power, and peace takes its place.
Through Christ, you have the courage to face what hurt you — and the grace to rewrite it.

That’s how we move from anger to freedom… from story to strength.