Toxic Positivity vs. Healthy Hope — Letting God Strengthen You

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We’ve all heard phrases like,

“Just stay positive.”
“Good vibes only.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”

Those words are often meant to comfort — but sometimes they can do the opposite. They can make us feel like our faith is weak or that we’re somehow failing if we can’t smile through hard things.

The truth is, not all positivity is healthy. There’s a kind that lifts and a kind that quietly shames. Let’s talk about the difference — and how we can live from a hope that is honest, grounded, and strengthened by God.

💭 What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how difficult things get, we should only focus on the positive and ignore any negative emotions.

It teaches us to dismiss sadness, anger, fear, or disappointment — as if those emotions mean we don’t trust God enough.

But emotions aren’t sinful.
They’re signals.

They tell us something about what we’re thinking, believing, and experiencing. When we ignore or judge them, we block the very healing that comes through honesty.

It’s not faith to pretend everything is fine — faith is bringing everything that’s not fine to God.

🌤️ Why Toxic Positivity Is Harmful

When we minimize our pain, we also minimize our humanity.

We might tell ourselves:

“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
“I have so much to be grateful for — I just need to snap out of it.”

But instead of helping, those thoughts pile on more guilt. We start believing that feeling sad means we’re broken or unspiritual.

Healthy growth begins with emotional honesty. Only when we tell ourselves the truth can we invite God’s comfort to meet us where we really are.

🌈 Healthy Hope vs. Toxic Positivity

Healthy hope makes room for both the struggle and the strength.
It sounds like this:

“This is hard — and God is still here.”
“I’m scared — and I’m also trusting.”

That one small word — AND — changes everything.

The AND bridges truth with trust.
It reminds us that we can be human and hopeful at the same time.
That’s not denial — that’s faith in action.

🔁 The S.T.E.A.R. Model: How Change Really Happens

One of my favorite tools to bring this truth to life is the S.T.E.A.R. Model:
Situation → Thought → Emotion → Action → Result

The situation itself doesn’t create our emotions — our thoughts about it do.
When we shift a thought, we change how we feel.
From that new emotion, we take different actions and create new results.

This isn’t about pretending everything’s okay.
It’s about choosing thoughts that open our hearts to God’s power, rather than closing them with fear or discouragement.

✨ A Personal Story

There was a season in my life when I learned this lesson in a deeply personal way.

I was caring for someone who was emotionally and mentally broken. It was a long, exhausting season, and I often woke up already drained before the day began.

Every morning, the same thought would hit me:

“I have to face this all over again today.”

That one thought would pull my energy down before my feet even touched the floor.

Then one morning, as I prayed for strength, a quiet inspiration came:

“The moment you open your eyes, say this instead — This is going to be a great day.”

So the next morning, before my old thoughts could start, I whispered that phrase.
And then I said it again.
And again.

Almost like a cheer welcoming in the sunlight.

Did my situation change? No.
But I did.

That single thought lifted my spirit and gave me the energy to move forward.
It became an act of faith — a way of saying, “God, I’m open for You to fill me.”

When I look back, I can see the STEAR model at work:

• Situation: Caring for someone and feeling depleted.

• Thought: “I can’t face this again today.”

• Emotion: Hopelessness and fatigue.

• Action: Wanting to avoid.

• Result: More exhaustion and disconnection.

Then came a shift:

• New Thought: “This is going to be a great day.”

• New Emotion: Hope and courage.

• New Action: Getting up with purpose.

• New Result: Strength renewed through God’s grace.

That’s not toxic positivity — that’s faith partnered with emotional awareness.
It’s choosing a thought that invites divine strength into our day.

🌿 The “AND” Practice

Here’s a simple practice to try this week.
When you find yourself in a hard moment, replace judgment with the word AND.

Say to yourself:

“This is hard… and I’m learning to trust.”
“I feel sad… and I know God is near.”
“I’m tired… and I can still choose a thought that renews my hope.”

The AND practice keeps your heart honest and open — grounded in reality, yet ready to receive grace.

💬 Creative Reminders: Two Affirmations for the Week

In my last podcast, I shared how I create affirmations that speak personally to me.
I want to leave you today with two affirmations from the Creative Reminders Library inside our Real Positive Change Membership.

💎 Affirmation 551 – Daily Purpose

“I see today clearly. I choose my actions with calm confidence.
I think through my choices, meet my responsibilities with peace,
and move forward with a clear sense of purpose.”

💫 Affirmation 548 – Feeling the Significance of the Moment

“I pause to feel the sacred significance of this moment.
My presence matters. Even the smallest shift within me
creates ripples of light around me. I choose to make a difference — beginning in my own heart.”

🎨 Creative Journaling Challenge: “The AND Page”

This week, let’s bring these ideas into your art journal.

1. Open a blank page and write the word “AND” boldly across the center.

2. Around it, write two emotions or truths you’ve been holding — something that feels hard and something you’re choosing to believe.

   • Example: “I feel overwhelmed… and I know God will guide me.”

3. Add color, collage, or texture that represents both emotions — the tension and the trust.

4. As you create, ask God: “What are You showing me about how to hold both truth and hope?”

When you’re done, take a deep breath. Notice how your page reflects your resilience and your faith.
This is the art of renewal — not denying emotion, but transforming it through creative partnership with God.

💛 A Closing Thought

God doesn’t always remove the challenges, but He always renews the mind that seeks Him.
Your thoughts are powerful tools — creative spaces where faith can take root and grow.

Until next time,
may God help you create that Real Positive Change in your life.