NOTE:   The only difference in the recording and the post is that, in the recording, I share a personal story about my creative, musical husband.  And how this understanding is now making a real change in his life.

How to Recognize It—and Gently Interrupt It**

Perfectionism doesn’t usually look like insecurity.
More often, it looks like responsibility, care, diligence, and wanting to offer our very best.

Especially for creative people.

But when striving no longer brings peace—only pressure—you may be caught in what I call the perfectionism–anxiety loop.

This loop feels productive, but it’s exhausting.
It promises safety after everything is just right—yet “just right” keeps moving.

The good news?
Once you recognize the loop, you’re no longer trapped in it.

What Is the Perfectionism–Anxiety Loop?

Perfectionism sends a quiet message to the nervous system:
“Mistakes are dangerous.”

Anxiety responds:
“If I refine this more, control this better, or get this exactly right, I’ll be safe.”

That back-and-forth becomes automatic—not because you’re weak, but because your brain learned this pattern early as a way to protect you from rejection, disappointment, or disapproval.

The loop isn’t a flaw.
It’s a protective pattern.

And anything learned for protection can be gently unlearned.

How Do You Know You’re in the Loop?

You’re likely in the perfectionism–anxiety loop if several of these feel familiar:

1. Your Body Feels Urgent or Tight

Before you notice a thought, you notice a sensation:

• tight chest or jaw

• shallow breathing

• restlessness

• a sense that something must be fixed right now

This is your nervous system responding to perceived threat—not wisdom.

2. Your Thoughts Sound Absolute

Perfectionistic anxiety speaks in extremes:

• “If I mess this up, everything will fall apart.”

• “I can’t relax until this is perfect.”

• “This isn’t enough.”

• “I should be further along by now.”

These thoughts don’t guide—they demand.

3. You Revisit the Same Decision Over and Over

You rewrite, replay, rethink, and second-guess.
Nothing ever feels finished.

That’s not discernment.
That’s looping.

4. Motivation Is Driven by Fear, Not Clarity

Ask yourself:
“Am I doing this because it aligns with my values—or because I’m afraid?”

Fear-driven effort keeps the loop alive.

5. Peace Becomes Conditional

You only feel calm after:

• over-preparing

• over-controlling

• over-refining

Peace becomes something you earn instead of something you access.

6. Your Inner Voice Loses Gentleness

Perfectionism rarely speaks kindly.
It rushes. It criticizes. It withholds grace.

That voice doesn’t lead to excellence—it fuels anxiety.

Is the Loop Easy to Fix?

It’s not a quick fix—but it is learnable.

The perfectionism–anxiety loop doesn’t break through willpower or positive thinking alone.
It softens through small, embodied interruptions practiced consistently.

Here’s what actually helps—step by step.

Step 1: Regulate the Body First

Before changing the thought, you calm the signal.

Perfectionism often begins in the nervous system, not the intellect.
So regulation comes before reasoning.

What regulating the body means:
You send your nervous system the message: “I’m not in danger.”

Simple ways to do this:

• take a slow breath and lengthen the exhale

• gently move your body (walk, stretch, sway)

• move your eyes slowly from side to side

• place a hand on your chest or stomach

• slow your movements and speech

This tells the amygdala:
“We’re okay. Protection isn’t needed right now.”

Step 2: Notice the Perfectionistic Thought—Without Obeying It

Instead of arguing with the thought, you name it:

• “This is my perfectionism trying to protect me.”

• “This is my fear of rejection speaking.”

• “This is my need for control showing up.”

Naming moves you from inside the loop to observing it.

You are no longer the thought—you’re aware of it.

Step 3: Replace the Story with Alignment, Not Pressure

Perfectionism is fueled by a story:

• “If I get this right, I’ll be accepted.”

• “If this isn’t perfect, I’ll be rejected.”

• “I’m responsible for how this is received.”

Rather than forcing positive thinking, you gently replace fear-based stories with daily declarations that align you with who God created you to be.

This is where Creative Reminders matter.

They don’t demand more effort.
They restore truth.

You’re not trying to perform better—you’re choosing a truer story.

Why Small Interruptions Work

The brain doesn’t change through intensity—it changes through repetition.

Each time you:

• pause instead of push

• regulate instead of rush

• choose alignment over fear

you weaken the loop.

Small, consistent interruptions rewire the pattern.

A More Accurate Check-In Question

You may hear the question:
“Is this helping me feel safer—or smaller?”

But for many creative people, perfectionism doesn’t feel like “smallness.”
It feels like care.

You may be refining because:

• you want to honor the recipient

• you want the offering to be worthy

• you want to protect yourself from rejection

This isn’t insecurity—it’s over-responsibility.

So a more honest question might be:

• “Am I creating from inspiration—or from protection?”

• “Am I trusting the gift—or trying to control the outcome?”

• “Am I creating freely—or guarding myself from rejection?”

These questions honor the heart behind the effort without feeding the loop.

The Encouraging Truth

Perfectionism isn’t about wanting to be perfect.
It’s about wanting to be safe, accepted, and received.

Awareness doesn’t shame that need—it softens it.

And once you see the loop, you’re no longer trapped inside it.
Awareness is the doorway out.

Creative Reminders for Creative Perfectionism

These Creative Reminders are designed specifically for artists, makers, writers, musicians, and creatives who struggle with over-refining, fear of reception, or needing their work to be “just right” to feel safe.

Use them aloud, in art journaling, or as visual anchors.

Creative Reminder 1: Inspired, Not Pressured

I create from inspiration, not fear.
God is the source of my creativity, and I trust what flows through me.
I release the need to control how my work is received.
What I offer is enough because it is guided by Him.

Short version:
I create from inspiration, not fear.

Creative Reminder 2: Trusting the Gift

I trust the gift God placed within me.
I do not need to perfect what He has already breathed life into.
I offer my work with humility, courage, and faith.

Short version:
I trust the gift.

Creative Reminder 3: Free to Finish

I am free to begin, free to explore, and free to finish.
Completion is not failure—it is faith.
I release my work without fear and rest in God’s care.

Short version:
I am free to finish.

Creative Reminder 4: Alignment Over Approval

I choose alignment over approval.
My value is not determined by response or reception.
I create to honor God, not to earn acceptance.

Short version:
Alignment over approval.

Creative Reminder 5: God-Inspired Productivity (852)

Full version:
I am divinely inspired in my life’s mission, and I take full responsibility for what I create.
I embrace my creativity, persistence, and determination as tools to fulfill my purpose.
Guided by God’s inspiration, I move forward with clarity and confidence,
knowing that every step I take leads me closer to fulfilling my divine calling.

Short version:
I am guided by God’s inspiration. I create with clarity and confidence.

     Also listen to Podcast #9,  Perfectionism - When It Becomes Trouble - Click Here.